Practically in Zombie mode

I am practically working and surviving in zombie mode for the past 2 weeks.. Calyce continues not to drink milk and we have to always try to sleep feed her.. and at times, even sleepfeed means unsuccessful.  It is becoming increasingly difficult to feed her nowadays, her milk intake drops drastically esp when she was sick the whole of last and this week.. and she even kicks up a new habit.. of not sleeping during night time.. she will simply wake up at around 2-3 and then return to sleep at 5-6am.. this is really difficult for Dear and myself as we are simply exhausted and late for work almost every day.  So practically i am working in zombie mode now.. oh no rather cos zombie gets to sleep in the day.. but i do not!

I always wonder what is wrong with my two precious... why is it that other babies will drink alot of milk, but mine will always be on milk strike.. Cepheus used to be like that and the same goes to Calyce now.  Worse thing is, Calyce doesnt even like solid, as i prepared pumpkin puree for her, she will spit out almost everything, maybe i should prepare some other fruits for her to try out.. is this something genetic?  i don't remember or even my mom dont recall that i am on milk strike before.  This is something puzzling.. i tried to change to similac which is so much sweeter and even smells nicer to me, but Calyce rejects the same.  She will only cry for milk if she is very very hungry and that is like every 5-6 hours or even longer.. and would only down a 100ml.. so practically, if we act according to her demand, she will only be drinking like 200ml per day!!!! this is absolutely crazy!

I am getting easily frustrated these days, and Calyce behavior just aggravates it, she will not reciprocate that mommy wakes up at 4am every morning to feed her but will throw tantrums and refuse to drink.. Dear attribute it to her medical condition now as she is still on cough..and she will only cough during the night when her feed will drop drastically as she refuse to drink anything at all.  

I seems to be frustrated with everything and everyone in the house nowadays.. i don't know what causes this, but when i am at work, i felt more at ease as my mind is concentrating on working and there is simply no time for me to think of anything else but work.  I do not worry so much things in the house and tends to put off my guard in the office.. but when i am at home,  i tend to get very stress and very worried with every single thing in the house.  Probably because i find that there is no one i can leave my trust to in the household and i get even more worried when i think that i need to travel again next week.  I am gonna miss my children, but i am not sure they will miss me as much though..