Happy Birthday Siow Ping!

Thank you to all my friends and family for the well wishes... today is my birthday.. but what nobody knows is, i am not the least happy, in fact this is one of the worst birthday gift that i ever have..

The cyst on my baby is not just any fluid water cyst that will go away, it is diagnosed as a Branchial cyst, full medical term known as a Branchial cleft cyst, it is in fact considered a birth defect, during the early stages the baby wasnt developed fully that causes this.. there are many stages and many types to it, those that i have read in the forum can happen to anyone, babies, children or even adults.  But mine is on a fetus itself.. the cyst will not go away in time like what the other normal water cyst happens to all other babies, instead it will grow in proportionate to the growth of the child.. last month the cyst is 1cm when my fetus is measured around 10cm, today, the cyst have grown to 2cm when the fetus is just at nearly 15cm.. the growth is termendous, we cannot imagine what will happen next month or the next, there are still 5 months to go...

It is a shock to me, as we have been carrying hopes that its just a normal water cyst that will go away, it appears that it will not, in fact, it will continue to grow with my fetus, complications imply that i may not be able to have natural birth due to the big lump on his neck that may affect the pushing and cause him to suffocate in the progress, then my next worry is whether the growth of the cyst will force me to go into early delivery.. Even if we can wait till it delivers, other complications will means, immediate surgery on the baby after delivery (or after a few months, depending on the seriousness and size of the lump), exorbitant operations surgery, plastic surgery and hospitalisation costs, the neck is already distorted, the latest ultrasound scan shows that the cyst is as big as its head, just in between his jaw and his shoulder and jutting out like a big lump of flesh, it just makes our heart pain to see this, and our gynae actually informs us that it will need to go under plastic surgery after the operation to remove the cyst due to the skin distortion..

Next, no confinement lady will be prepared to look after defective babies, what is she going to do with the lump on the neck, no infant care will want to take it either.. When it undergoes surgery, one of us will have to quit to look after the baby full time from operations until it recovers fully, when will that be or how long will that take, we do not know at this moment.  I read that even if we manage to remove it, there is a recurrence rate of 3% to 20%.  Not sure if it may also become a hereditary feature.  We have to really consider all this and then decide if we can carry on carrying this fetus.. I can't bear to give it up,i cant even bear to think of it, neither does Dear Dear, we have been pondering over the night and this morning and still pondering..this is the worst day of my life and yet i have to pretend that nothing happen and get on with my work..

I really don't know what to do, at a lost, why does this have to happen to me?  i am being told that i am young and will have a healthy baby, this is my very first child, why does this have to happen to me, to us!! why why why!!!