I am getting disheartened

its getting worse.. i dunno why.. Cepheus just doesnt wanna get close to me.. last time when i am more stern with him, he seems to be more 'kan cheong' and wanna stay close.. but now that i am so lax (as i am also preggy) with him, he seems to bo chap me altogether..

last time when i told him to 'hug hug' or 'sayang' he will obediently comply but recently, he just bo chap me altogether.. and only sayang and hug one person which is his idol daddy!  even when daddy is not at home, then he will stick to me.. but also refuse to sayang me .. i really wonder why.. are you 吃软不吃硬？must i revert back to constant scolding then you will realise my existence?

But with the tummy getting bigger each day, its so big now that it looks like 6 mths rather than 4.. I am getting easily tired and I cant carry Cepheus for long.. and i cant keep up with his playing running about for long too.. wonder if that is the reason that he finds me boring now.. and refuse to come close..

Just now, i am so sad that even when daddy ask him to 'sayang' me he still bo chap and my tears just fell down, not with anger but overcome with sadness.. when Cepheus saw me crying.. he then walk towards me and 'sayang' me thrice on my forehead and then stayed quietly by my side looking at me smiling.. until he saw me smile and then quickly ran away again to play .. i so much wanted to hug him tight tight and tell him i love him so!  But no matter what i do now, he won't appreciate at all.. i felt that he doesnt love me at all. I am such a failure..